Ping Pong

So, I don't remember making that last post. I have a felling I was probably pretty drunk...

I've been drinking a fair amount lately. It's actually been because of work, believe it or not... We work late. Then we go out. A bar, a party... etc.

Love and I ended it. It had been over for a long time. It was just a matter of someone saying it out loud. I rebounded the night of. We will call this guy Rebound. Jesus, he's so hot. I don't know how I managed it, but I did. The only real problem? I have competition for Rebound's attention. I love this girl, she's amazing. But somehow, Competition and I always manage to be competing for the same guys. I think it's because we're both so good at what we do. We have similar features. I think. She's quite a bit smaller than me and definitely dresses better... she's fairly quiet and I'm fairly loud. But trust me, there are other things that are very much the same.

*sigh* I fucked up. This was supposed to be a one-time, one-night thing. Not that it's been anything else, but I wish that it was. It's what I get for drinking too much and being a goddamn whore. He's just fantastic. AH! Pay attention to me! You're not going to get anything out of her! I'm right here! All you have to do is call me, dammit!

Whatever. This is why you shouldn't hook up with people that you work with. Heh. This is why you shouldn't hook up with people period. I should have played harder to get. There was just such a small window of time... Bleh.

Lesson learned. But on some level, it WAS worth it.

Walking in Circles

my heart hurts today.

i had a bad night. then the morning was better. and now i've made a few mistakes today and i'm back where i started. i'm tired but i can't sleep.

everything feels wrong.