I had a weird dream...

and this is what resulted:

He came to me first in my dreams. An unknown man, strong and with a kind smile met me at the end of a nightmare. The nightmare was always the same: I would be running for my life, pursued by evil things that wanted to hurt or kill me. Sometimes in the dream, they would catch me and I would fight for my life. Other times I would hide, cowering in fear as they passed by, searching for me. In either version, I always found my way to what I believed to be a safe place. A garden or a park, something with trees and grass and normal people – the people in my haven weren’t like the ones chasing me. These people were normal… not deformed or possessed. They could never understand why I arrived in their park looking so terrified, so frantic, raving about monsters trying to kill me. Often, they were people that I knew – classmates, coworkers, teachers, and family members. In this safe place, I would begin to calm down, the nightmare would begin to ebb but there was always this sort of background noise… a low hiss warning me that the monsters could somehow get to me here, too. The idea that it wouldn’t just be me in danger, but that all of these other people could be hurt too loomed over me. At some point, before the dream ended completely, there would be a man that I didn’t know there, the one that I have spoken of previously. He exuded safety from every inch of him, his smile, his eyes, his arms even… He would act as if I knew him, and somehow I felt that I did. “You’re safe now,” he’d say to me and I’d press myself against his chest and let the feeling of security wash over me. But at some point I would let go. I would turn my back on him to go talk to the others in my sanctuary. Then the same feeling of dread, the terror of being chased would return. I could feel him behind me, strong yet almost sensual hands on my shoulders, positioned just at the base of my neck. He’d lean in, and whisper in my ear, “I could kill you so easily. Do you think I’d need to look like your monsters to kill you?” I’d let the feeling of rage, the anger at being betrayed well up inside of me. I’d get loose, turn on him – lash out punching and kicking. Nothing hurt him in the slightest bit. He’d simply pull me back to him and, despite my best efforts, kiss me.
And that would be the end of the dream. For 3 months, it was the same dream all the time… Until one day, I recognized the man not from my dream but from the real world. I had known and worked with the real man for almost a year at this point. He had a wife, a new baby. The dream man had almost become like a secret lover – though the dream never went any farther than a kiss, and in spite of the danger I felt with him, I had become very attached to sensual nature of it all. I had never thought of the real life man like this. At least, I didn’t think that I had… suddenly I found myself infatuated with – no – lusting after this real life man. I started to have fantasies about him confessing his love for me, telling me he was leaving his wife and wanted only me. He was suddenly so attractive, so desirous… I thought I was going crazy… My mind began playing tricks on me. Every smile, every hello sent shivers throughout my entire body. I began to sense things that weren’t there – a mutual attraction that I knew could in no way exist. But I couldn’t let it go. I wanted to revel in my attraction…in my pretend world where he wanted me too…

TBC? Dunno, gotta think about where I’m going with all of this. It makes me feel pretty dirty... =/

"When we talk about your boss and I jokingly say, 'Omigosh, I'm in love with that man!', what I really mean is, 'I want him to fall in love with me and leave his wife.'"